Today is Mother's Day and so I wanted to make a mom-related confession: after long restless days on the front lines of a city-funded mental health clinic, I sometimes come home to watch "Teen Mom 2". This show follows four teenage mothers who had been featured previously on "16 and Pregnant", now getting a deeper perspective into the realities of teen motherhood. Both of these shows have sucked me in with their voyeuristic and sociological appeals. There is something masochistic and fascinating about following their usually heart-wrenching stories from afar. Watching these girls go through their trials and tribulations is an emotional roller-coaster, and it also raises for me a few thoughts and some concerns that I decided to bring up here:
* Birth Control: One of the biggest acclaims of these shows seems to be their discussion on the use of birth control among teens. And as a member of a privileged and educated class, I'll admit I agree with these discussions. Because many forms of birth control are now readily accessible to most teens and there are hardly any excuses for not using them! These shows do well in using peers to tell each other to use protection, because what teen wants to listen to their parents talk about sex (parents should still talk to their teens about sex!). These shows are often seen as cautionary tales to the population of MTV teen viewers.
On the other hand, it becomes clear that condoms are gone from the sexual lives of the youth, and the pill is in. Many stories revolve around girls who were on antibiotics while taking the pill rendering it ineffective or they forgot to take the dose on the day of sex, and none discuss why condoms were not used. This saddens me. I mean, women rightfully fought for the pill in order to take control of their sexualities and pregnancy, but this seems to have taken all responsibility off the guys in the long run. Boys are no longer taught to wrap their junk, and as soon as parents (mothers?) hear that their daughter is sexually active, they take her to Planned Parenthood (hopefully, anyway). Does anyone talk to either sons, and daughters also, about condoms, which should still be used as pregnancy and STD protection. But this is still an unfair and dangerous gender role.
* Women on TV: Quite obviously, these shows focus on the girls' journeys through pregnancy and parenthood. On one hand, these shows, as I said, are cautionary tales for girls as many of the show participants urge their peers to wait to have kids and instead focus on their educations and careers. However, I wonder what images about womanhood, motherhood, female development, sexuality, and adulthood these girls, and boys too, are learning from TV. When I think about shows like Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, and Glee, I really question where the positive role models are?
* Fatherhood: This topic is a big one and maybe should wait for Father's Day to be discussed. But seriously, as with the role of men in birth control, where are all the fathers? Why aren't we having more discussions on the role of teen fatherhood, especially when everyone knows that the bailing father is a real societal problem. Why isn't there a "Teen Dad" show? This issue is, of course, more complicated, but it is nonetheless infuriating. Especially because no one says a word about it, and only going along with it as if it is a given.
* Infantilizing: I always get annoyed at the kiddish drawings (teddy bears, bright baby bottles) during the opening credits and in the middle of the show. These could pertain to the babies on the show, but I think the idea is also that the teen moms are still babies themselves. This may be true, but why are we treating them as infantile? They are mothers, and each has her own way in which she is growing into womanhood. The kid spiff is completely unnecessary.
* Reality and Stigma: In the end, the reality of teen motherhood as portrayed on the show is quite grueling. It becomes painfully clear that these girls just can't do this alone. The ones that make it, the ones who are able to graduate high school, have a job and make enough to afford an apartment and baby expenses, the ones that maybe even make it to college (I already mentioned that I come from an education bias), they are the ones who have an enormous amount of support around them. They need physical, emotional, and financial support. They need people willing to babysit, they need people willing to pay for things sometimes, they need people willing to listen and not judge. The stigma out there is still great, and these women and their children need our endorsement and respect. No one can make it alone.
* Birth Control: One of the biggest acclaims of these shows seems to be their discussion on the use of birth control among teens. And as a member of a privileged and educated class, I'll admit I agree with these discussions. Because many forms of birth control are now readily accessible to most teens and there are hardly any excuses for not using them! These shows do well in using peers to tell each other to use protection, because what teen wants to listen to their parents talk about sex (parents should still talk to their teens about sex!). These shows are often seen as cautionary tales to the population of MTV teen viewers.
On the other hand, it becomes clear that condoms are gone from the sexual lives of the youth, and the pill is in. Many stories revolve around girls who were on antibiotics while taking the pill rendering it ineffective or they forgot to take the dose on the day of sex, and none discuss why condoms were not used. This saddens me. I mean, women rightfully fought for the pill in order to take control of their sexualities and pregnancy, but this seems to have taken all responsibility off the guys in the long run. Boys are no longer taught to wrap their junk, and as soon as parents (mothers?) hear that their daughter is sexually active, they take her to Planned Parenthood (hopefully, anyway). Does anyone talk to either sons, and daughters also, about condoms, which should still be used as pregnancy and STD protection. But this is still an unfair and dangerous gender role.
* Women on TV: Quite obviously, these shows focus on the girls' journeys through pregnancy and parenthood. On one hand, these shows, as I said, are cautionary tales for girls as many of the show participants urge their peers to wait to have kids and instead focus on their educations and careers. However, I wonder what images about womanhood, motherhood, female development, sexuality, and adulthood these girls, and boys too, are learning from TV. When I think about shows like Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, and Glee, I really question where the positive role models are?
* Fatherhood: This topic is a big one and maybe should wait for Father's Day to be discussed. But seriously, as with the role of men in birth control, where are all the fathers? Why aren't we having more discussions on the role of teen fatherhood, especially when everyone knows that the bailing father is a real societal problem. Why isn't there a "Teen Dad" show? This issue is, of course, more complicated, but it is nonetheless infuriating. Especially because no one says a word about it, and only going along with it as if it is a given.
* Infantilizing: I always get annoyed at the kiddish drawings (teddy bears, bright baby bottles) during the opening credits and in the middle of the show. These could pertain to the babies on the show, but I think the idea is also that the teen moms are still babies themselves. This may be true, but why are we treating them as infantile? They are mothers, and each has her own way in which she is growing into womanhood. The kid spiff is completely unnecessary.
* Reality and Stigma: In the end, the reality of teen motherhood as portrayed on the show is quite grueling. It becomes painfully clear that these girls just can't do this alone. The ones that make it, the ones who are able to graduate high school, have a job and make enough to afford an apartment and baby expenses, the ones that maybe even make it to college (I already mentioned that I come from an education bias), they are the ones who have an enormous amount of support around them. They need physical, emotional, and financial support. They need people willing to babysit, they need people willing to pay for things sometimes, they need people willing to listen and not judge. The stigma out there is still great, and these women and their children need our endorsement and respect. No one can make it alone.
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