Un-femininity: women and tattoos

I am a woman and I have tattoos. In fact, I have tattoos in visible places--around my wrists and on my foot--and I've gotten all sorts of unbelievable comments from others regarding this personal choice about my body. People have been in my face with their own sad, pouty facial expressions as they told me that I've scarred my beautiful body. For the rest of my life. I've been called unclassy. I've been asked what I plan to do regarding work and how I plan to hide such obvious tattoos. People get all up in arms over this issue.

This is not me; it's a beautiful woman, picture taken from here.

There is something fundamentally unfeminine (according to social law) about tattoos on women. Any other body modification, sure, have at it! Pierce your ears, pluck your eyebrows, glue on fake nails and eyelashes. Even plastic surgery is ok, when done "right," i.e. to uphold feminine ideals (breast implants, de-wrinkling, tummy tucks). But permanently inserting ink into unblemished skin? That's for prisoners and sailors (all of which are, presumably, male). 

A few years back I read this article in an academic journal, and now often think back on the author's findings and conclusions whenever I feel harassed by others about my choice to have tattoos. In this study, the author interviewed tattooed women about their reasons for getting their body artwork, then analyzed the interviews for themes. He found two major themes for why women got tats: because of conformity to accepted beauty standards and as a rebellion against social expectations. Conformity tattoos were those that women got to appear sexy for their partners (to accentuate the curves of their hips or on the smalls of their backs) or those of overly feminine subject matters (flowers, butterflies, cute things, cartoon characters, lots of pastel and pink colors). Rebellion tattoos were those that went against accepted ideas of femininity. They were in visible spots (on forearms, shoulders, and necks), did not serve to highlight the curves of women's bodies, and dealt with subjects usually not associated with femininity (skulls, spiders, dragons, nautical symbols).

As I was searching for some online resources around this topic, I came upon an interesting discussion. It seems to have started with this article, published in the opinion column of the University of Buffalo independent student paper. I may be naive, but I read the article as a satire. I heard that the author was making fun of all the ridiculous arguments that are made regarding women's bodies, what we can and cannot do with our own bodies, and the incredible, unfair double standard that women face: we are encouraged to alter ourselves for the sake of external standards of acceptable beauty and class (high heels, painted nails, dyed hair, etc.), but not when body modification somehow goes against these accepted beauty standards. But then many people read the article as a literal attack on women's choices, and rightfully were outraged (just see the comments on both of these articles).

So this issue is complex. There are many reasons, of course, for why women get tattoos, and not all women with tattoos go strictly against accepted ideas of femininity. In the eyes of the public, some offenders are worse than others. I have tattoos of a skull, a compass surrounded by waves, a dove and a star. They are mostly black and gray, with some accents of blue, yellow, and orange. They each have a meaning, a sentimental value, and frankly, I love how the art looks on my skin. There is also something to the permanence of an image on my body, as things inside and outside of myself change constantly. I just wish people would trust and respect that our bodies belong to us and that we are free to make our own choices regarding them.

Un-femininity: women and skulls

Source here

Skulls are so unfeminine. There is something about death and about the macabre dark nature of skinless face bones that apparently does not go with femininity. Because women can't possibly think about death, or be in dark moods, or have anything to do with the human skeleton.

Source here

I know that traditional femininity generally does not include "gross" or deathly or internally bodily things altogether. Women are not associated with things like worms or boogers or shotguns. But there is also something particular about the image of a skull, and the meanings that it evokes, that people won't put together with their idea of a woman. I guess I am sensitive about skulls and images of skulls because, well, a) I collected human skull figures in high schools, but people then wrote it off as "teenage angst", so my identity as an adolescent overrode my identity as a women. But also, 2) I have a tattoo of a skull on my wrist. And aside from the gasps I get for being a woman with tattoos (more on this later!), I especially get weird looks, even from tattooed folks, about it being a human skull. It's not a cartoon skull, and it doesn't have a feminizing bow on it. It is realistic and human and it's there to remind me of just that: that death is imminent and life is fleeting, as is the external, and we are here to make things work for each other.

So skulls can be versatile, skulls can be quite spiritual, skulls can be philosophical, skulls can be just anatomy, but skulls are part of our experience. I wish women were allowed to be full human beings who may be fascinated by all parts of our existence.

Un-femininity: women with shaved heads

Source of photos here

I want to post a few thoughts regarding our notions of femininity, to discuss and challenge what is considered characteristic and/or necessary parts of being a woman. Thus the title "un-femininity" questions whether the aspects mentioned in the posts are in fact unfeminine.

So recently, perhaps due to summer heat or artsy moods, I have been wondering about women with shaved heads. Not that I am seriously considering shaving my head, but in a sense I am attracted to the notion. There is just something so freeing and startling about it. Even in our age where men with long hair are noticeable but not uncommon, women with shaved heads are singled out, and usually not in a good way.

We still consider women's hair essential for femininity, and women with long, full hair are true women indeed. Just notice how many volumizing, moisturizing, safe-guarding, upkeeping, and accessorizing products exist for women's hair. Women are at their best when their hair is straightened, then waved, lightened and brightened, shiny and noticeable. Women who chose to keep their hair short usually have to justify their look by being "an artsy pixie" or worse, by being a "psycho chick who took a raiser to her head". Whereas women with longer hair are just women. This obsession with long hair for women could be part of the general focus on women's appearances. Although it seems that there is a special connection between women's hair and femininity in that when hair is missing, womanhood is fundamentally compromised and often women must overcompensate with other symbols of femininity to convince others to see them as women, like by parading children in strollers or wearing frilly dresses.

So yes, something inside is telling me to be a walking example of changing femininity.