Allure and Anxiety

I don't subscribe to, or really ever come across, any of the typical "women-oriented" magazines (I'm not even sure what to call them... no term that comes to mind seems appropriate). But you know, I mean either the "trashy" tabloids filled with snarky comments about famous women's appearances and dress, or the "this is how to improve yourself to look like what the misogynistic rules of society require" type of mags. Those types you see sitting by the check-out counter, because, you know, only bored and vulnerable stay-at-home moms pass through grocery stores^a.

As you might have guessed, I find those magazines incredibly sexist and in fact, doing a great disservice to women, their self-image, and their relationships with other women. The only time I have been encountering these mags lately is at work. People (ok, just the women) bring their subscriptions and leave them on a giant coffee table in our open room. And there is something so intense about our work and something so alluring about plopping at this table once in a while to mindlessly flip through the bright pages.

But what I noticed was how much my level of anxiety goes up while staring at page after page of "flawless" (although flawless to whom? by what standards? for whose purposes?) porcelain-like unrealistic depictions of women. It was an internal difference that's easy to overlook, and that would typically be manifested by guilt over what I ate, shame over how I dress, or compliance in the next conversation I have with someone who feels bad about how she looks. Because, let's face, none of us will ever look like a photoshopped version of Sarah Jessica Parker.

In looking up some pictures and links, I came across this post, which summarizes some of why these images are really so destructive to us. So next time you open one of these magazines, please pay attention to what thoughts and what feelings go through your head and heart. Are you feeling more anxious, more guilty, more angry or sad? If so, please put down the magazine immediately, go to the nearest mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and blow a kiss. You truly are beautiful.

^a Of course, stay-at-home moms are often neither bored nor vulnerable. They are hard-working and I suspect, in a big way responsible for what is good about the next generation.